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Essential Tips To Be Confident In Who You Are!

Date : July 24, 2016

 

Maya Angelou quote. Success starts with liking yourself.

Uneasiness and low confidence can hit you at any time. To be confident in who you are and to make the right decisions all the time is virtually impossible. But if certain situations keep cropping up, and make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, there’s no need avoid them, wishing  they would magically disappear.

Having the basic confidence in who you are, what you say and what you do is essential to achieving joy in all areas of your life.

Here are essential tips to be confident during those self-doubting times.

Stop the ‘Can’t’ effect

When you’re given a task where you doubt yourself, your thoughts race to the negative and you say: ‘I can’t’. Take a deep breath and calm yourself. Then counter your thoughts and tell yourself: ‘I’ll manage it. Let me figure out how’. Turn ‘can’t’ to ‘can’.

The Past

In that ‘I can’t’ moment,  ask yourself where the feelings came from. You may have had a mother who loved formal entertaining, and you never thought you could ever be as good a hostess. This can set the stage for all your feelings around similar events.

Stories from your past, bring back feelings from your past. Examine the areas of your life where you feel inadequate, and get to the root of those feelings.

Situations:

Back to the dinner party example: Question yourself. Are you anxious about making the food, the decor, the conversation etc? Is it for all dinner parties or only formal ones etc?

Every situation that makes you feel uncomfortable has a pattern that triggers your discomfort. Alert yourself to those triggers. They creep into many similar areas of your life.

Admiration:

It’s always nice to have approval of others, but to be confident in your decisions, you must take ownership and responsibility for them. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. The person to please is yourself.

“A President can not always be popular” Harry S. Truman

Self-Deprecation:

What we tell ourselves has meaning. Encourage your thoughts with positive affirmations by reading morning meditations. The purpose of the exercise is to rid yourself of the demoralizing feeling of ‘can’t’.

Talk It Out:

Talking to others helps to sort out your feelings, and puts you on track. It also relieves the pressure of carrying your situation alone. Talk to a trusted friend, a counselor, or a coach. You may be pleasantly surprised how capable you’ll feel about your decisions, when you receive the proper advice.

Stop Rationalizing:

Doubting yourself and lacking confidence are feelings so, don’t rationalize them away with ‘excuses’. There are reasons for everything and we can always come up with a reason to avoid what we don’t want to do. “Excuses will always be there, opportunity won’t”.

Take the opportunity to build confidence in yourself by doing exactly the opposite what you don’t want to do.

Perfection:

If you were an Olympian you’d aim for the ‘gold’ nothing less. In life, there is no perfect score. You can only do the best you can every day. Don’t over-analyze the task at hand. If your best is not good enough, so be it. You can’t do better than your best!

Don’t compare yourself to others. To be confident in who you are, you must be supported by the feeling that you’re OK, AS you are.

When you continue to tell yourself that you ARE OK you really WILL be!

 

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Written by

Beverley Glazer MA., ICCAC., is a certified life-coach, counselor and therapist, passionate in her belief that each of us has the capability to create better lives. Using traditional and innovative techniques, she has helped thousands of individuals and families for 25+ years. She loves life, travel and all things creative.