Dump Toxic People Who Stress You Out!
Who are the toxic people in your life? Are they friends, relatives, colleagues at work? Toxic people are everywhere ~ they’ll never give you peace. They’re spinning with dramas; they complain and they gossip; they can be narcissistic and demanding, criticizing and judging ~ they’re manipulative. And even worse ~ they’ll drain you. You can feel insecure and anxious, and even run away – but that won’t save you. One way or another, if you’re a magnet to toxic people, they will always find a way to get in.
You can blame them or try to change them, give them all the advice and help out but they’ll always do what they want to get their own way. So instead of blaming, explaining and driving yourself crazy in the process, turn the mirror on yourself and look at what your behavior. Here are 4 things that you must change:
Changing the Toxic People Pattern
Stop Fixing:
Toxic people are attracted to you because you’ll help them. They’ll come to you for advice. The more advice you give, the more you’ll get involved. Direct them to where they can get the help they need, but don’t get involved. Keep your personal boundaries strong. When you stop fixing their problems, these people will go somewhere else for help.
Stop Pleasing:
If you’re a ‘People Pleaser,’ you believe that your self-worth lies in helping others. Now you’re a perfect ‘toxic people magnet’! These vampires will swoop in and you’ll feel powerless when they do, but it’s up to you to not to give in. If your intuition tells you that they’re over-stepping your boundaries say “no”. If you don’t do this, you’ve just given them an open door to take advantage of you.
Stop Judging Yourself:
Feeling inadequate is another window where those toxic vampires can find their way in. They love insecure people. When you’re comparing or judging yourself with others you display weakness. Respect who you are and what you do and stop complaining. Demonstrate confidence and they’ll keep their distance from you. They avoid confident people.
Stop Feeling Guilty:
When you feel that you should be all things to all people, you’ll feel guilty if you think that you’re letting others down. Guilt sends a strong message to all toxic people. If they see that you’re vulnerable they’ll only be too eager to pressure you to get with their demands.
In a perfect world, others would be kind and considerate of your feelings, but unfortunately that’s not the case. In reality, if you allow others to manipulate you to achieve what they want, you’ve given them license to do it.
If you want peace in your world it’s your job to achieve it. Begin by setting strong boundaries. Stop the pleasing and fixing, feeling inadequate or guilty. Be at peace with the knowledge that you can’t change toxic people, but when you change your own behavior, they won’t bother YOU!
If this issue is rocking your universe, let’s have a free ½ hr conversation.
